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25 Tweets About Porn We're Gonna Need You To Read By The End Of The Day

Evanvinh


Evanvinh

25 Tweets About Porn We're Gonna Need You To Read By The End Of The Day published by Evanvinh
Writer Rating: 2.6429
Posted on 2016-05-25
Writer Description: Evanvinh
This writer has written 733 articles.


All things considered, these tweets are surprisingly SFW.

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Sophia Benoit ‎@1followernodad

MAYBE MY PORN ISN'T TOO LOUD MAYBE THIS COFFEE SHOP IS TOO QUIET

10:42 PM - 22 Jul 2015


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James Hartnett ‎@jameshartnett

making a porn movie seems like a lot of work. all that time it must take to get the actors to fall in love first!

7:14 PM - 28 Mar 2016


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josh ‎@ruinedpicnic

can someone google porn and describe it to me please, my parents check my computer :(

9:58 PM - 11 Jan 2016


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Sara Schaefer ‎@saraschaefer1

i like my porn so soft it's just eye contact set to an imogen heap song

2:35 PM - 20 May 2016


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milty ‎@themiltron

[on the set of a porn film]
director: cut!
john krasinski: what's wrong
director: you need to stop doing the face

3:38 AM - 23 May 2016


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Kumail Nanjiani ‎@kumailn

Porn sites should all start with the same letter, so that not every letter I type into the browser bar is humiliating.

8:35 PM - 23 Jan 2016


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hope ‎@hopiecan

a center or hub, if you will, but for porn

4:39 PM - 10 Dec 2015


View image on Twitter

View image on Twitter

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Fisher ‎@fishermatt

Ah yes the porno beverages

6:53 AM - 20 Apr 2016


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Charlene deGuzman ‎@charstarlene

I don't need porn I just stare at the word "attachment" in your email

3:46 PM - 1 Jul 2015


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Chris Kelly ‎@imchriskelly

i end every email i send with "...and no big deal, but did you mean to attach that porn video?"

5:22 PM - 7 Feb 2016


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Desus Nice ‎@desusnice

panama papers sounds like a porn star who peaked in 07

12:04 PM - 4 Apr 2016


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ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ғᴏʟᴛᴀ ‎@JamesFolta

Your porn name is:

favorite ice cream + where bought ice cream + name given to spoon to eat ice cream + how much ice cream + where it spill

10:01 AM - 9 May 2016


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Jake Weisman ‎@weismanjake

If you are mad at someone you should do porn under their legal name so when they google themselves they have to see you naked all the time

1:00 AM - 23 Mar 2016


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Veronica de Souza ‎@HeyVeronica

My official goal for 2016 is to overtake the porn star with my exact name in the google search rankings

6:54 PM - 13 Jan 2016


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Damien Fahey ‎@DamienFahey

A fun way to go out would be to lie on your deathbed and whisper into a loved one's ear what kinda porn really gets ya goin'.

9:12 PM - 4 Dec 2015


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Tamara Yajia ‎@DancesWithTamis

I like my porn stars like I like my days of immobilizing depression: dirty, oily, hard and in bed.

3:04 PM - 5 Feb 2015


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Molly Lambert ‎@mollylambert

my research shows that porn stars and comedians are really into: periscope, weed, having podcasts, being foodies, clapping back at haters

8:05 PM - 12 Jul 2015


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Ziwe ‎@Ziweeee

I discovered porn for the first time when I accidentally typed "dragonball x" instead of "dragonball z" in my internet explorer browser

11:58 PM - 22 Dec 2015


View image on Twitter

View image on Twitter

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Churlish ‎@Cryptoterra

new favorite porn genre

11:48 PM - 21 May 2016


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Joel Kim Booster ‎@ihatejoelkim

Just saw an ad for a porn site called "Scared Straight Guys" which honestly sounds like the most exhausting porn in the history of porn.

4:39 PM - 19 Mar 2015


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Eleanor Davis ‎@squinkyelo

Porn idea: Man has sexy rolex, the lady is extremely hot for him, in a frenzy she unzips his pants, his penis has like 3 more rolexes on it

10:41 PM - 3 Aug 2015


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Jen Statsky ‎@jenstatsky

A porn with the T-Mobile girl, AT&T girl, and the Verizon guy & it's called "4G OR-G?"

1:50 AM - 23 Mar 2016


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beth likes cake, so ‎@bourgeoisalien

i don't care what you say about Leonardo Da Vinci. if he was alive today he'd just watch hardcore porn on his phone all day. fuck that guy

11:55 AM - 21 Jan 2016


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Glenn Boozan ‎@boozan

A friend accidentally saw "cool wedding rings" in my iPhone search history & I immediately opened a porn site window to be less embarrassed

9:53 PM - 6 Nov 2013


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the garbage shit boy ‎@davedittell

the worst part of jerking off is closing the other six tabs of porn I didn't even get to and realizing this is as ambitious as I get

   

Sources:
http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/0ee8741c64/tweets-about-porn-we-re-gonna-need-you-to-read-by-the-end-of-the-day?_cc=__d___&_ccid=3d068995-1d21-4acc-9e7a-ef8993f05eac

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