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25 Tweets About Porn We're Gonna Need You To Read By The End Of The Day

Evanvinh


Tags: USA  

Evanvinh

25 Tweets About Porn We're Gonna Need You To Read By The End Of The Day published by Evanvinh
Writer Rating: 2.6429
Posted on 2016-05-25
Writer Description: Evanvinh
This writer has written 733 articles.


All things considered, these tweets are surprisingly SFW.

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Sophia Benoit ‎@1followernodad

MAYBE MY PORN ISN'T TOO LOUD MAYBE THIS COFFEE SHOP IS TOO QUIET

10:42 PM - 22 Jul 2015


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James Hartnett ‎@jameshartnett

making a porn movie seems like a lot of work. all that time it must take to get the actors to fall in love first!

7:14 PM - 28 Mar 2016


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josh ‎@ruinedpicnic

can someone google porn and describe it to me please, my parents check my computer :(

9:58 PM - 11 Jan 2016


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Sara Schaefer ‎@saraschaefer1

i like my porn so soft it's just eye contact set to an imogen heap song

2:35 PM - 20 May 2016


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milty ‎@themiltron

[on the set of a porn film]
director: cut!
john krasinski: what's wrong
director: you need to stop doing the face

3:38 AM - 23 May 2016


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Kumail Nanjiani ‎@kumailn

Porn sites should all start with the same letter, so that not every letter I type into the browser bar is humiliating.

8:35 PM - 23 Jan 2016


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hope ‎@hopiecan

a center or hub, if you will, but for porn

4:39 PM - 10 Dec 2015


View image on Twitter

View image on Twitter

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Fisher ‎@fishermatt

Ah yes the porno beverages

6:53 AM - 20 Apr 2016


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Charlene deGuzman ‎@charstarlene

I don't need porn I just stare at the word "attachment" in your email

3:46 PM - 1 Jul 2015


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Chris Kelly ‎@imchriskelly

i end every email i send with "...and no big deal, but did you mean to attach that porn video?"

5:22 PM - 7 Feb 2016


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Desus Nice ‎@desusnice

panama papers sounds like a porn star who peaked in 07

12:04 PM - 4 Apr 2016


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ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ғᴏʟᴛᴀ ‎@JamesFolta

Your porn name is:

favorite ice cream + where bought ice cream + name given to spoon to eat ice cream + how much ice cream + where it spill

10:01 AM - 9 May 2016


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Jake Weisman ‎@weismanjake

If you are mad at someone you should do porn under their legal name so when they google themselves they have to see you naked all the time

1:00 AM - 23 Mar 2016


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Veronica de Souza ‎@HeyVeronica

My official goal for 2016 is to overtake the porn star with my exact name in the google search rankings

6:54 PM - 13 Jan 2016


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Damien Fahey ‎@DamienFahey

A fun way to go out would be to lie on your deathbed and whisper into a loved one's ear what kinda porn really gets ya goin'.

9:12 PM - 4 Dec 2015


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Tamara Yajia ‎@DancesWithTamis

I like my porn stars like I like my days of immobilizing depression: dirty, oily, hard and in bed.

3:04 PM - 5 Feb 2015


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Molly Lambert ‎@mollylambert

my research shows that porn stars and comedians are really into: periscope, weed, having podcasts, being foodies, clapping back at haters

8:05 PM - 12 Jul 2015


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Ziwe ‎@Ziweeee

I discovered porn for the first time when I accidentally typed "dragonball x" instead of "dragonball z" in my internet explorer browser

11:58 PM - 22 Dec 2015


View image on Twitter

View image on Twitter

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Churlish ‎@Cryptoterra

new favorite porn genre

11:48 PM - 21 May 2016


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Joel Kim Booster ‎@ihatejoelkim

Just saw an ad for a porn site called "Scared Straight Guys" which honestly sounds like the most exhausting porn in the history of porn.

4:39 PM - 19 Mar 2015


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Eleanor Davis ‎@squinkyelo

Porn idea: Man has sexy rolex, the lady is extremely hot for him, in a frenzy she unzips his pants, his penis has like 3 more rolexes on it

10:41 PM - 3 Aug 2015


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Jen Statsky ‎@jenstatsky

A porn with the T-Mobile girl, AT&T girl, and the Verizon guy & it's called "4G OR-G?"

1:50 AM - 23 Mar 2016


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beth likes cake, so ‎@bourgeoisalien

i don't care what you say about Leonardo Da Vinci. if he was alive today he'd just watch hardcore porn on his phone all day. fuck that guy

11:55 AM - 21 Jan 2016


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Glenn Boozan ‎@boozan

A friend accidentally saw "cool wedding rings" in my iPhone search history & I immediately opened a porn site window to be less embarrassed

9:53 PM - 6 Nov 2013


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the garbage shit boy ‎@davedittell

the worst part of jerking off is closing the other six tabs of porn I didn't even get to and realizing this is as ambitious as I get

   

Sources:
http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/0ee8741c64/tweets-about-porn-we-re-gonna-need-you-to-read-by-the-end-of-the-day?_cc=__d___&_ccid=3d068995-1d21-4acc-9e7a-ef8993f05eac

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